What Happens at Death?

Contact Us Table of Contents Search Site   Home Google listing of all pages on this website Site Map Toby Johnson's Facebook page Toby Johnson's YouTube channel Toby Johnson on Wikipedia Toby Johnson Amazon Author Page Secure site at https://tobyjohnson.com Also on this website: As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Toby Johnson's books: Toby's books are available as ebooks from smashwords.com, the Apple iBookstore, etc. FINDING YOUR OWN TRUE MYTH: What I Learned from Joseph Campbell: The Myth of the Great Secret III GAY SPIRITUALITY: The Role of Gay Identity in the Transformation of Human Consciousness GAY PERSPECTIVE: Things Our Homosexuality Tells Us about the Nature of God and the Universe SECRET MATTER, a sci-fi novel with wonderful "aliens" with an Afterword by Mark Jordan GETTING LIFE IN PERSPECTIVE:  A Fantastical Gay Romance set in two different time periods THE FOURTH QUILL, a novel about attitudinal healing and the problem of evil TWO SPIRITS: A Story of Life with the Navajo, a collaboration with Walter L. Williams CHARMED LIVES: Spinning Straw into Gold: GaySpirit in Storytelling, a collaboration with Steve Berman and some 30 other writers THE MYTH OF THE GREAT SECRET: An Appreciation of Joseph Campbell IN SEARCH OF GOD IN THE SEXUAL UNDERWORLD: A Mystical Journey Unpublished manuscripts About ordering Books on Gay Spirituality: White Crane Gay Spirituality Series   Toby has done five podcasts with Harry Faddis for The Quest of Life   Articles and Excerpts: Review of Samuel Avery's The Dimensional Structure of Consciousness Funny Coincidence: "Aliens Settle in San Francisco" About Liberty Books, the Lesbian/Gay Bookstore for Austin, 1986-1996 The Simple Answer to the Gay Marriage Debate A Bifurcation of Gay Spirituality Why gay people should NOT Marry The Scriptural Basis for Same Sex Marriage Toby and Kip Get Married Wedding Cake Liberation Gay Marriage in Texas What's ironic Shame on the American People The "highest form of love" Gay Consciousness Why homosexuality is a sin The cause of homosexuality The origins of homophobia Q&A about Jungian ideas in gay consciousness What is homosexuality? What is Gay Spirituality? My three messages What Jesus said about Gay Rights Queering religion Common Experiences Unique to Gay Men Is there a "uniquely gay perspective"? The purpose of homosexuality Interview on the Nature of Homosexuality What the Bible Says about Homosexuality Mesosexual Ideal for Straight Men Varieties of Gay Spirituality Waves of Gay Liberation Activity The Gay Succession Wouldn’t You Like to Be Uranian? The Reincarnation of Edward Carpenter Queer men, myths and Reincarnation Was I (or you) at Stonewall? Why Gay Spirituality: Spirituality as Artistic Medium Easton Mountain Retreat Center Andrew Harvey & Spiritual Activism The Mysticism of Andrew Harvey The upsidedown book on MSNBC Enlightenment "It's Always About You" The myth of the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara Joseph Campbell's description of Avalokiteshvara You're Not A Wave Joseph Campbell Talks about Aging Toby's Experience of Zen What is Enlightenment? What is reincarnation? What happens at Death? How many lifetimes in an ego? Emptiness & Religious Ideas Experiencing experiencing experiencing Going into the Light Meditations for a Funeral Meditation Practice The way to get to heaven Buddha's father was right What Anatman means Advice to Travelers to India & Nepal The Danda Nata & goddess Kalika Nate Berkus is a bodhisattva John Boswell was Immanuel Kant Cutting edge realization The Myth of the Wanderer Change: Source of Suffering & of Bliss World Navel What the Vows Really Mean Manifesting from the Subtle Realms The Three-layer Cake & the Multiverse The est Training and Personal Intention Effective Dreaming in Ursula LeGuin's The Lathe of Heaven Drawing a Long Straw: Ketamine at the Mann Ranch Alan Watts & Multiple Solipsism Gay Spirituality Curious Bodies What Toby Johnson Believes The Joseph Campbell Connection The Mann Ranch (& Rich Gabrielson) Campbell & The Pre/Trans Fallacy The Two Loves The Nature of Religion What's true about Religion Being Gay is a Blessing Drawing Long Straws Freedom of Religion The Gay Agenda Gay Saintliness Gay Spiritual Functions The subtle workings of the spirit in gay men's lives. The Sinfulness of Homosexuality Proposal for a study of gay nondualism Priestly Sexuality Having a Church to Leave Harold Cole on Beauty Marian Doctrines: Immaculate Conception & Assumption Not lashed to the prayer-post Monastic or Chaste Homosexuality The Monastic Schedule: a whimsy Is It Time to Grow Up? Confronting the Aging Process Notes on Licking  (July, 1984) Redeem Orlando Gay Consciousness changing the world by Shokti LoveStar Alexander Renault interviews Toby Johnson Mystical Vision "The Evolution of Gay Identity" "St. John of the Cross & the Dark Night of the Soul." Avalokiteshvara at the Baths  Eckhart's Eye Let Me Tell You a Secret Religious Articulations of the Secret The Collective Unconscious Driving as Spiritual Practice Meditation Historicity as Myth Pilgrimage No Stealing Next Step in Evolution The New Myth The Moulting of the Holy Ghost Gaia is a Bodhisattva Sex with God Merging Religion and Sex Revolution Through Consciousness Change: GSV 2019 The Hero's Journey The Hero's Journey as archetype -- GSV 2016 The  Gay Hero Journey (shortened) You're On Your Own Superheroes Seeing Differently Teenage Prostitution and the Nature of Evil Allah Hu: "God is present here"   Adam and Steve The Life is in the Blood Gay retirement and the "freelance monastery" Seeing with Different Eyes Facing the Edge: AIDS as an occasion for spiritual wisdom What are you looking for in a gay science fiction novel? The Vision The mystical experience at the Servites'  Castle in Riverside A  Most Remarkable Synchronicity in Riverside The Great Dance according to C.S.Lewis The Techniques Of The World Saviors Part 1: Brer Rabbit and the Tar-Baby Part 2: The Bodhisattva Avalokiteshvara Part 3: Jesus and the Resurrection Part 4: A Course in Miracles The Secret of the Clear Light Understanding the Clear Light Mobius Strip Finding Your Tiger Face How Gay Souls Get Reincarnated Joseph Campbell, the Hero's Journey, and the modern Gay Hero-- a five part presentation on YouTube About Alien Abduction In honor of Sir Arthur C Clarke Karellen was a homosexual The D.A.F.O.D.I.L. Alliance Intersections with the movie When We Rise More about Gay Mental Health Psych Tech Training Toby at the California Institute The Rainbow Flag Ideas for gay mythic stories People Kip and Toby, Activists Toby's friend and nicknamesake Toby Marotta. Harry Hay, Founder of the gay movement About Hay and The New Myth About Karl Heinrich Ulrichs, the first man to really "come out" About Michael Talbot, gay mystic About Fr. Bernard Lynch About Richard Baltzell About Guy Mannheimer About David Weyrauch About Dennis Paddie About Ask the Fire About Arthur Evans About Christopher Larkin About Mark Thompson About Sterling Houston About Michael Stevens The Alamo Business Council Our friend Tom Nash Second March on Washington The Gay Spirituality Summit in May 2004 and the "Statement of Spirituality" Book Reviews Be Done on Earth by Howard E. Cook Pay Me What I'm Worth by Souldancer The Way Out by Christopher L  Nutter The Gay Disciple by John Henson Art That Dares by Kittredge Cherry Coming Out, Coming Home by Kennth A. Burr Extinguishing the Light by B. Alan Bourgeois Over Coffee: A conversation For Gay Partnership & Conservative Faith by D.a. Thompson Dark Knowledge by Kenneth Low Janet Planet by Eleanor Lerman The Kairos by Paul E. Hartman Wrestling with Jesus by D.K.Maylor Kali Rising by Rudolph Ballentine The Missing Myth by Gilles Herrada The Secret of the Second Coming by Howard E. Cook The Scar Letters: A Novel by Richard Alther The Future is Queer by Labonte & Schimel Missing Mary by Charlene Spretnak Gay Spirituality 101 by Joe Perez Cut Hand: A Nineteeth Century Love Story on the American Frontier by Mark Wildyr Radiomen by Eleanor Lerman Nights at Rizzoli by Felice Picano The Key to Unlocking the Closet Door by Chelsea Griffo The Door of the Heart by Diana Finfrock Farrar Occam’s Razor by David Duncan Grace and Demion by Mel White Gay Men and The New Way Forward by Raymond L. Rigoglioso The Dimensional Stucture of Consciousness by Samuel Avery The Manly Pursuit of Desire and Love by Perry Brass Love Together: Longtime Male Couples on Healthy Intimacy and Communication by Tim Clausen War Between Materialism and Spiritual by Jean-Michel Bitar The Serpent's Gift: Gnostic Reflections on the Study of Religion by Jeffrey J. Kripal Esalen: America and the Religion of No Religion by Jeffrey J. Kripal The Invitation to Love by Darren Pierre Brain, Consciousness, and God: A Lonerganian Integration by Daniel A Helminiak A Walk with Four Spiritual Guides by Andrew Harvey Can Christians Be Saved? by Stephenson & Rhodes The Lost Secrets of the Ancient Mystery Schools by Stephenson & Rhodes Keys to Spiritual Being: Energy Meditation and Synchronization Exercises by Adrian Ravarour In Walt We Trust by John Marsh Solomon's Tantric Song by Rollan McCleary A Special Illumination by Rollan McCleary Aelred's Sin by Lawrence Scott Fruit Basket by Payam Ghassemlou Internal Landscapes by John Ollom Princes & Pumpkins by David Hatfield Sparks Yes by Brad Boney Blood of the Goddess by William Schindler Roads of Excess, Palaces of Wisdom by Jeffrey Kripal Evolving Dharma by Jay Michaelson Jesus in Salome's Lot by Brett W. Gillette The Man Who Loved Birds by Fenton Johnson The Vatican Murders by Lucien Gregoire "Sex Camp" by Brian McNaught Out & About with Brewer & Berg Episode One: Searching for a New Mythology The Soul Beneath the Skin by David Nimmons Out on Holy Ground by Donald Boisvert The Revotutionary Psychology of Gay-Centeredness by Mitch Walker Out There by Perry Brass The Crucifixion of Hyacinth by Geoff Puterbaugh The Silence of Sodom by Mark D Jordan It's Never About What It's About by Krandall Kraus and Paul Borja ReCreations, edited by Catherine Lake Gospel: A Novel by WIlton Barnhard Keeping Faith: A Skeptic’s Journey by Fenton Johnson Dating the Greek Gods by Brad Gooch Telling Truths in Church by Mark D. Jordan The Substance of God by Perry Brass The Tomcat Chronicles by Jack Nichols 10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do to Improve Their Lives by Joe Kort Jesus and the Shamanic Tradition of Same Sex Love by Will Roscoe The Third Appearance by Walter Starcke The Last Hours of Ancient Sunlight by Thom Hartmann Surviving and Thriving After a Life-Threatening Diagnosis by Bev Hall Men, Homosexuality, and the Gods by Ronald Long An Interview with Ron Long Queering Creole Spiritual Traditons by Randy Conner & David Sparks An Interview with Randy Conner Pain, Sex and Time by Gerald Heard Sex and the Sacred by Daniel Helminiak Blessing Same-Sex Unions by Mark Jordan Rising Up by Joe Perez Soulfully Gay by Joe Perez That Undeniable Longing by Mark Tedesco Vintage: A Ghost Story by Steve Berman Wisdom for the Soul by Larry Chang MM4M a DVD by Bruce Grether Double Cross by David Ranan The Transcended Christian by Daniel Helminiak Jesus in Love by Kittredge Cherry In the Eye of the Storm by Gene Robinson The Starry Dynamo by Sven Davisson Life in Paradox by Fr Paul Murray Spirituality for Our Global Community by Daniel Helminiak Gay & Healthy in a Sick Society by Robert A. Minor Coming Out: Irish Gay Experiences by Glen O'Brien Queering Christ by Robert Goss Skipping Towards Gomorrah by Dan Savage The Flesh of the Word by Richard A Rosato Catland by David Garrett Izzo Tantra for Gay Men by Bruce Anderson Yoga & the Path of the Urban Mystic by Darren Main Simple Grace by Malcolm Boyd Seventy Times Seven by Salvatore Sapienza What Does "Queer" Mean Anyway? by Chris Bartlett Critique of Patriarchal Reasoning by Arthur Evans Gift of the Soul by Dale Colclasure & David Jensen Legend of the Raibow Warriors by Steven McFadden The Liar's Prayer by Gregory Flood Lovely are the Messengers by Daniel Plasman The Human Core of Spirituality by Daniel Helminiak 3001: The Final Odyssey by Arthur C. Clarke Religion and the Human Sciences by Daniel Helminiak Only the Good Parts by Daniel Curzon Four Short Reviews of Books with a Message Life Interrupted by Michael Parise Confessions of a Murdered Pope by Lucien Gregoire The Stargazer's Embassy by Eleanor Lerman Conscious Living, Conscious Aging by Ron Pevny Footprints Through the Desert by Joshua Kauffman True Religion by J.L. Weinberg The Mediterranean Universe by John Newmeyer Everything is God by Jay Michaelson Reflection by Dennis Merritt Everywhere Home by Fenton Johnson Hard Lesson by James Gaston God vs Gay? by Jay Michaelson The Gate of Tears: Sadness and the Spiritual Path by Jay Michaelson Roxie & Fred by Richard Alther Not the Son He Expected by Tim Clausen The 9 Realities of Stardust by Bruce P. Grether The Afterlife Revolution by Anne & Whitley Strieber AIDS Shaman: Queer Spirit Awakening by Shokti Lovestar Facing the Truth of Your Life by Merle Yost The Super Natural by Whitley Strieber & Jeffrey J Kripal Secret Body by Jeffrey J Kripal In Hitler's House by Jonathan Lane Walking on Glory by Edward Swift The Paradox of Porn by Don Shewey Is Heaven for Real? by Lucien Gregoire In Search of Lost Lives by Michael Goddart Queer Magic by Tomas Prower God in Your Body by Jay Michaelson Science Whispering Spirit by Gary Preuss Friends of Dorothy by Dee Michel New by Whitley Strieber Developing Supersensible Perception by Shelli Renee Joye Sage Sapien by Johnson Chong Tarot of the Future by Arthur Rosengarten Brothers Across Time by Brad Boney Impresario of Castro Street by Marc Huestis Deathless by Andrew Ramer The Pagan Heart of the West, Vol 1 by Randy P. Conner Practical Tantra by William Schindler The Flip by Jeffrey J. Kripal A New World by Whitley Strieber Scissors, Paper, Rock by Fenton Johnson Toby Johnson's Books on Gay Men's Spiritualities: Gay Perspective Things Our [Homo]sexuality Tells Us about the Nature of God and the Universe Gay Perspective is available as an audiobook narrated by Matthew Whitfield. Click here Gay Spirituality Gay Identity and  the Transformation of Human Consciousness Gay Spirituality   is now available as an audiobook, beautifully narrated by John Sipple. Click here Charmed Lives: Gay Spirit in Storytelling edited by Toby Johnson & Steve Berman Secret Matter Lammy Award Winner for Gay Science Fiction updated Getting Life in Perspective A Fantastical Romance Getting Life in Perspective is available as an audiobook narrated by Alex Beckham. Click here  The Fourth Quill originally published as PLAGUE The Fourth Quill is available as an audiobook, narrated by Jimmie Moreland. Click here Two Spirits: A Story of Life with the Navajo with Walter L. Williams Two Spirits  is available as an audiobook  narrated by Arthur Raymond. Click here Finding Your Own True Myth: What I Learned from Joseph Campbell The Myth of the Great Secret III In Search of God  in the Sexual Underworld The Myth of the Great Secret: An Appreciation of Joseph Campbell. This was the second edition of this book. Toby Johnson's titles are available in other ebook formats from Smashwords.

One of the Big Questions I have an idea about what consciousness is, and I have thoughts about the relationship between body and consciousness. I understand that mine are ideas and thoughts, not personal experience. I think some people have had some personal experience. At least they have had experiences of thinking they are dying, but then don't die and so are able to describe what they experienced. And I think there are yogis and mystics who've tried to look beyond themselves, and have come back with stories and metaphors about what they intuited. What I think is that Universal Consciousness (“God” in mythological language) differentiates into the countless number of sentient beings in order to experience itself. I think the conscious being inside each of us, the witness self who is watching our lives unfold, is effectively a sensory organ of this greater consciousness. I.e., consciousness creates a myriad of eyes in order to see the full scope of itself. The universe IS “God’s” perception of itself. I think most of what we human think of as ourselves—that is, our “egos”—is memories of the experiences of this particular perspective we have from being the “sense organ of God” at one particular point in space and time. The body is the mind’s self-representation of this particular point in space and time. I observe that other people—all sentient beings—begin and end. I suppose then that birth is the conscious witness’s experience of starting to look through this particular sense organ. And that death is its experience of stopping looking through this perspective. I think the fact that bodies grow old and die is a clue that consciousness only looks out through its multiple perspectives for a limited amount of time. What I imagine—and expect—to happen in death is that the conscious witness (that I now think of as me) detaches from the limits of this point of view. If one is fortunate enough to be aware of what’s going on, I think one gets to assess their life in that moment of detaching—this is what is mythologized as the “particular judgment.” Ideally you think “Wow, that was great. Thank you.” Time and space are bound into the dimensionality of matter, so as you detach from perceiving the world as matter, time and space begin to fade away and stretch out to infinity. So that last “moment” of being ego letting go of being ego seems to stretch out forever. As consciousness expands back into “being God,” it lets the memories that were your ego, fade into the past. In that sense, “you” are dead and gone. The witness has gone back into the ocean of consciousness. If you are fortunate--and plan ahead, I suppose--you get to experience that “Wow.” If you are particularly unfortunate, maybe, you experience “oh damn. I don’t want to die." And you go out resisting your experience and that is what seems to stretch out forever. Many people, I bet, are just confused and don’t quite know what hit them and go to sleep. Consciousness only exists in its self-representations. I don’t think consciousness experiences itself except as individual sentient beings with perspective. SO I don’t think there is any experience of being in the bardo or being at the Pearly Gates in the way the various religions portray after death experience. But consciousness certainly comes back into being individuated in the generation of humans being born. I don’t think ego carries anything of itself into the future incarnations of consciousness. BUT every life leaves ripples in the greater field and influences the future. I think those ripples constitute something like “karmic resonances.” We are linked to lives of those who have gone before us in the sense that their “vibes” influence how we "vibrate." This idea of individuals as sense organs of God comes straight out of Alan Watts.  It's the "who you are" in the title of Watt's book: The Book: On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are. Let me add, speaking in mythological language, understanding these things are “clues” to greater reality, that I’d say whimsically—much like I say about the gay men in the bardo in the article on this website called How Gay Souls Get Reincarnated—that in the particular judgment, you are the defendant. In the General Judgment, you are the Judge.

Toby Johnson, PhD is author of nine books: three non-fiction books that apply the wisdom of his teacher and "wise old man," Joseph Campbell to modern-day social and religious problems, four gay genre novels that dramatize spiritual issues at the heart of gay identity, and two books on gay men's spiritualities and the mystical experience of homosexuality and editor of a collection of "myths" of gay men's consciousness. 

Johnson's book GAY SPIRITUALITY: The Role of Gay Identity in the Transformation of Human Consciousness won a Lambda Literary Award in 2000.

His  GAY PERSPECTIVE: Things Our [Homo]sexuality Tells Us about the Nature of God and the Universe was nominated for a Lammy in 2003. They remain in print.

FINDING YOUR OWN TRUE MYTH: What I Learned from Joseph Campbell: The Myth of the Great Secret III tells the story of Johnson's learning the real nature of religion and myth and discovering the spiritual qualities of gay male consciousness.

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