God Drives a Maroon Buick



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Toby Johnson's books:

Toby's books are available as ebooks from smashwords.com, the Apple iBookstore, etc.


Finding Your Own True Myth - The Myth of the Great Secret III

FINDING YOUR OWN TRUE MYTH: What I Learned from Joseph Campbell: The Myth of the Great Secret III


Gay Spirituality

GAY SPIRITUALITY: The Role of Gay Identity in the Transformation of Human Consciousness


Gay Perspective


GAY PERSPECTIVE: Things Our Homosexuality Tells Us about the Nature of God and the Universe


Secret Matter


SECRET MATTER, a sci-fi novel with wonderful "aliens" with an Afterword by Mark Jordan


Getting Life

GETTING LIFE IN PERSPECTIVE:  A Fantastical Gay Romance set in two different time periods


The Fourth Quill

THE FOURTH QUILL, a novel about attitudinal healing and the problem of evil




Two Spirits
TWO SPIRITS: A Story of Life with the Navajo, a collaboration with Walter L. Williams



charmed lives
CHARMED LIVES: Spinning Straw into Gold: GaySpirit in Storytelling, a collaboration with Steve Berman and some 30 other writers


Myth of the Great Secret


THE MYTH OF THE GREAT SECRET: An Appreciation of Joseph Campbell



In Search of God


IN SEARCH OF GOD IN THE SEXUAL UNDERWORLD: A Mystical Journey



Unpublished manuscripts


About ordering


Books on Gay Spirituality:

White Crane Gay Spirituality Series


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  Toby has done five podcasts with Harry Faddis for The Quest of Life

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  Articles and Excerpts:

Review of Samuel Avery's The Dimensional Structure of Consciousness


Funny Coincidence: "Aliens Settle in San Francisco"


About Liberty Books, the Lesbian/Gay Bookstore for Austin, 1986-1996


The Simple Answer to the Gay Marriage Debate


A Bifurcation of Gay Spirituality


Why gay people should NOT Marry


The Scriptural Basis for Same Sex Marriage


Toby and Kip Get Married


Wedding Cake Liberation


Gay Marriage in Texas


What's ironic



Shame on the American People


The "highest form of love"


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Gay Consciousness


Why homosexuality is a sin


The cause of homosexuality


The origins of homophobia


Q&A about Jungian ideas in gay consciousness


What is homosexuality?


What is Gay Spirituality?


My three messages


What Jesus said about Gay Rights


Queering religion


Common Experiences Unique to Gay Men


Is there a "uniquely gay perspective"?


The purpose of homosexuality


Interview on the Nature of Homosexuality


What the Bible Says about Homosexuality


Mesosexual Ideal for Straight Men



Varieties of Gay Spirituality


Waves of Gay Liberation Activity


The Gay Succession


Wouldn’t You Like to Be Uranian?


The Reincarnation of Edward Carpenter


Why Gay Spirituality: Spirituality as Artistic Medium


Easton Mountain Retreat Center


Andrew Harvey & Spiritual Activism


The Mysticism of Andrew Harvey


The upsidedown book on MSNBC


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Enlightenment


"It's Always About You"



The myth of the Bodhisattva Avalokitesvara


Joseph Campbell's description of Avalokiteshvara


You're Not A Wave



Joseph Campbell Talks about Aging



What is Enlightenment?



What is reincarnation?



How many lifetimes in an ego?



Emptiness & Religious Ideas



Experiencing experiencing experiencing



Going into the Light



Meditations for a Funeral



Meditation Practice



The way to get to heaven



Buddha's father was right



What Anatman means



Advice to Travelers to India & Nepal



The Danda Nata & goddess Kalika



Nate Berkus is a bodhisattva



John Boswell was Immanuel Kant



Cutting edge realization



The Myth of the Wanderer



Change: Source of Suffering & of Bliss



World Navel



What the Vows Really Mean



Manifesting from the Subtle Realms



The Three-layer Cake & the Multiverse


The est Training and Personal Intention



Effective Dreaming in Ursula LeGuin's The Lathe of Heaven


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Gay Spirituality


Curious Bodies


What Toby Johnson Believes


The Joseph Campbell Connection


The Mann Ranch (& Rich Gabrielson)


Campbell & The Pre/Trans Fallacy


The Two Loves


The Nature of Religion


What's true about Religion


Being Gay is a Blessing


Drawing Long Straws


Freedom of Religion


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The Gay Agenda


Gay Saintliness


Gay Spiritual Functions



The subtle workings of the spirit in gay men's lives.


The Sinfulness of Homosexuality


Proposal for a study of gay nondualism


Priestly Sexuality


Having a Church to Leave


Harold Cole on Beauty


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Marian Doctrines: Immaculate Conception & Assumption


Not lashed to the prayer-post


Monastic or Chaste Homosexuality


Is It Time to Grow Up? Confronting the Aging Process


Notes on Licking  (July, 1984)


Redeem Orlando


Gay Consciousness changing the world by Shokti LoveStar


Alexander Renault interviews Toby Johnson



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Mystical Vision


"The Evolution of Gay Identity"


"St. John of the Cross & the Dark Night of the Soul."


Avalokiteshvara at the Baths


 Eckhart's Eye


Let Me Tell You a Secret


Religious Articulations of the Secret


The Collective Unconscious


Driving as Spiritual Practice


Meditation


Historicity as Myth


Pilgrimage


No Stealing


Next Step in Evolution


The New Myth


The Moulting of the Holy Ghost


Gaia is a Bodhisattva


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The Hero's Journey


The Hero's Journey as archetype -- GSV 2016


The  Gay Hero Journey (shortened)


You're On Your Own


Superheroes


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Seeing Differently


Teenage Prostitution and the Nature of Evil


Allah Hu: "God is present here"


 
Adam and Steve


The Life is in the Blood



Gay retirement and the "freelance monastery"


Seeing with Different Eyes


Facing the Edge: AIDS as an occasion for spiritual wisdom


What are you looking for in a gay science fiction novel?


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The Vision


The mystical experience at the Servites'  Castle in Riverside


A  Most Remarkable Synchronicity in Riverside


The Great Dance according to C.S.Lewis


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The Techniques Of The World Saviors

Part 1: Brer Rabbit and the Tar-Baby


Part 2: The Bodhisattva Avalokiteshvara


Part 3: Jesus and the Resurrection


Part 4: A Course in Miracles


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The Secret of the Clear Light


Understanding the Clear Light


Mobius Strip


Finding Your Tiger Face


How Gay Souls Get Reincarnated


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Joseph Campbell, the Hero's Journey, and the modern Gay Hero-- a five part presentation on YouTube


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About Alien Abduction


In honor of Sir Arthur C Clarke


Karellen was a homosexual


The D.A.F.O.D.I.L. Alliance


Intersections with the movie When We Rise


More about Gay Mental Health


Psych Tech Training


Toby at the California Institute


The Rainbow Flag


Ideas for gay mythic stories


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People


Kip and Toby, Activists


Toby's friend and nicknamesake Toby Marotta.


Harry Hay, Founder of the gay movement


About Hay and The New Myth


About Karl Heinrich Ulrichs, the first man to really "come out"


About Michael Talbot, gay mystic


About Fr. Bernard Lynch


About Richard Baltzell


About Guy Mannheimer


About David Weyrauch


About Dennis Paddie


About Ask the Fire


About Arthur Evans


About Christopher Larkin


About Mark Thompson


About Sterling Houston


About Michael Stevens


The Alamo Business Council


Our friend Tom Nash


Second March on Washington


The Gay Spirituality Summit in May 2004 and the "Statement of Spirituality"


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Book Reviews



Be Done on Earth by Howard E. Cook


Pay Me What I'm Worth by Souldancer


The Way Out by Christopher L  Nutter


The Gay Disciple by John Henson


Art That Dares by Kittredge Cherry


Coming Out, Coming Home by Kennth A. Burr


Extinguishing the Light by B. Alan Bourgeois


Over Coffee: A conversation For Gay Partnership & Conservative Faith by D.a. Thompson


Dark Knowledge by Kenneth Low


Janet Planet by Eleanor Lerman


The Kairos by Paul E. Hartman


Wrestling with Jesus by D.K.Maylor


Kali Rising by Rudolph Ballentine


The Missing Myth by Gilles Herrada


The Secret of the Second Coming by Howard E. Cook


The Scar Letters: A Novel by Richard Alther


The Future is Queer by Labonte & Schimel


Missing Mary by Charlene Spretnak


Gay Spirituality 101 by Joe Perez


Cut Hand: A Nineteeth Century Love Story on the American Frontier by Mark Wildyr


Radiomen by Eleanor Lerman


Nights at Rizzoli by Felice Picano


The Key to Unlocking the Closet Door by Chelsea Griffo


The Door of the Heart by Diana Finfrock Farrar


Occam’s Razor by David Duncan


Grace and Demion by Mel White


Gay Men and The New Way Forward by Raymond L. Rigoglioso


The Dimensional Stucture of Consciousness by Samuel Avery


The Manly Pursuit of Desire and Love by Perry Brass


Love Together: Longtime Male Couples on Healthy Intimacy and Communication by Tim Clausen


War Between Materialism and Spiritual by Jean-Michel Bitar


The Serpent's Gift: Gnostic Reflections on the Study of Religion by Jeffrey J. Kripal


Esalen: America and the Religion of No Religion by Jeffrey J. Kripal


The Invitation to Love by Darren Pierre


Brain, Consciousness, and God: A Lonerganian Integration by Daniel A Helminiak


A Walk with Four Spiritual Guides by Andrew Harvey


Can Christians Be Saved? by Stephenson & Rhodes


The Lost Secrets of the Ancient Mystery Schools by Stephenson & Rhodes


Keys to Spiritual Being: Energy Meditation and Synchronization Exercises by Adrian Ravarour


In Walt We Trust by John Marsh


Solomon's Tantric Song by Rollan McCleary


A Special Illumination by Rollan McCleary


Aelred's Sin by Lawrence Scott


Fruit Basket by Payam Ghassemlou


Internal Landscapes by John Ollom


Princes & Pumpkins by David Hatfield Sparks


Yes by Brad Boney


Blood of the Goddess by William Schindler


Roads of Excess, Palaces of Wisdom by Jeffrey Kripal


Evolving Dharma by Jay Michaelson


Jesus in Salome's Lot by Brett W. Gillette


The Man Who Loved Birds by Fenton Johnson


The Vatican Murders by Lucien Gregoire


"Sex Camp" by Brian McNaught


Out & About with Brewer & Berg
Episode One: Searching for a New Mythology



The Soul Beneath the Skin by David Nimmons


Out on Holy Ground by Donald Boisvert


The Revotutionary Psychology of Gay-Centeredness by Mitch Walker


Out There by Perry Brass


The Crucifixion of Hyacinth by Geoff Puterbaugh


The Silence of Sodom by Mark D Jordan


It's Never About What It's About by Krandall Kraus and Paul Borja


ReCreations, edited by Catherine Lake


Gospel: A Novel by WIlton Barnhard


Keeping Faith: A Skeptic’s Journey by Fenton Johnson


Dating the Greek Gods
by Brad Gooch


Telling Truths in Church by Mark D. Jordan


The Substance of God by Perry Brass


The Tomcat Chronicles by Jack Nichols


10 Smart Things Gay Men Can Do to Improve Their Lives by Joe Kort


Jesus and the Shamanic Tradition of Same Sex Love by Will Roscoe


The Third Appearance by Walter Starcke


The Last Hours of Ancient Sunlight by Thom Hartmann


Surviving and Thriving After a Life-Threatening Diagnosis by Bev Hall


Men, Homosexuality, and the Gods by Ronald Long

An Interview with Ron Long


Queering Creole Spiritual Traditons by Randy Conner & David Sparks

An Interview with Randy Conner


Pain, Sex and Time by Gerald Heard


Sex and the Sacred by Daniel Helminiak


Blessing Same-Sex Unions by Mark Jordan


Rising Up by Joe Perez


Soulfully Gay by Joe Perez


That Undeniable Longing by Mark Tedesco


Vintage: A Ghost Story by Steve Berman


Wisdom for the Soul by Larry Chang


MM4M a DVD by Bruce Grether


Double Cross by David Ranan


The Transcended Christian by Daniel Helminiak


Jesus in Love by Kittredge Cherry


In the Eye of the Storm by Gene Robinson


The Starry Dynamo by Sven Davisson


Life in Paradox by Fr Paul Murray


Spirituality for Our Global Community by Daniel Helminiak


Gay & Healthy in a Sick Society by Robert A. Minor


Coming Out: Irish Gay Experiences by Glen O'Brien


Queering Christ by Robert Goss


Skipping Towards Gomorrah by Dan Savage


The Flesh of the Word by Richard A Rosato


Catland by David Garrett Izzo


Tantra for Gay Men by Bruce Anderson


Yoga & the Path of the Urban Mystic by Darren Main


Simple Grace by Malcolm Boyd


Seventy Times Seven by Salvatore Sapienza


What Does "Queer" Mean Anyway? by Chris Bartlett


Critique of Patriarchal Reasoning by Arthur Evans


Gift of the Soul by Dale Colclasure & David Jensen


Legend of the Raibow Warriors by Steven McFadden


The Liar's Prayer by Gregory Flood


Lovely are the Messengers by Daniel Plasman


The Human Core of Spirituality by Daniel Helminiak


3001: The Final Odyssey by Arthur C. Clarke


Religion and the Human Sciences by Daniel Helminiak


Only the Good Parts by Daniel Curzon


Four Short Reviews of Books with a Message


Life Interrupted by Michael Parise


Confessions of a Murdered Pope by Lucien Gregoire


The Stargazer's Embassy by Eleanor Lerman


Conscious Living, Conscious Aging by Ron Pevny


Footprints Through the Desert by Joshua Kauffman


True Religion by J.L. Weinberg


The Mediterranean Universe by John Newmeyer


Everything is God by Jay Michaelson


Reflection by Dennis Merritt


Everywhere Home by Fenton Johnson


Hard Lesson by James Gaston


God vs Gay? by Jay Michaelson


The Gate of Tears: Sadness and the Spiritual Path by Jay Michaelson


Roxie & Fred by Richard Alther


Not the Son He Expected by Tim Clausen


The 9 Realities of Stardust by Bruce P. Grether


The Afterlife Revolution by Anne & Whitley Strieber


AIDS Shaman: Queer Spirit Awakening by Shokti Lovestar


Facing the Truth of Your Life by Merle Yost


The Super Natural by Whitley Strieber & Jeffrey J Kripal


Secret Body by Jeffrey J Kripal


In Hitler's House by Jonathan Lane


Walking on Glory by Edward Swift


The Paradox of Porn by Don Shewey


Is Heaven for Real? by Lucien Gregoire


Enigma by Lloyd Meeker


Scissors, Paper, Rock by Fenton Johnson




Toby Johnson's Books on Gay Men's Spiritualities:




Gay
Perspective cover
Gay Perspective

Things Our [Homo]sexuality
Tells Us about the
Nature of God and
the Universe


Gay Perspective audiobook
Gay Perspective is available as an audiobook narrated by Matthew Whitfield. Click here







Gay
Spirituality cover
Gay Spirituality

Gay Identity and 
the Transformation of
Human Consciousness



gay-spirituality-audiobook
Gay Spirituality   is now available as an audiobook, beautifully narrated by John Sipple. Click here








charmed lives
Charmed Lives: Gay Spirit in Storytelling

edited by
Toby Johnson
& Steve Berman







secret matter
Secret Matter

Lammy Award Winner for Gay Science Fiction

updated







Getting Life
Getting Life in Perspective

A Fantastical Romance





Getting
Life in Perspective audiobook
Getting Life in Perspective is available as an audiobook narrated by Alex Beckham. Click here 






The Fourth Quill

The Fourth Quill

originally published as PLAGUE




johnson-the-fourth-quill-audiobook
The Fourth Quill is available as an audiobook, narrated by Jimmie Moreland. Click here






Two
Two Spirits: A Story of Life with the Navajo

with Walter L. Williams




Two Spirits
audiobookTwo Spirits  is available as an audiobook  narrated by Arthur Raymond. Click here






Finding Your Own True Myth - The Myth of the Great Secret III
Finding Your Own True Myth:
What I Learned from Joseph Campbell

The Myth of the Great Secret III








In
Search of God in the Sexual Underworld
In Search of God  in the Sexual Underworld










The Myth of the Great Secret II

The Myth of the Great Secret: An Appreciation of Joseph Campbell.

This was the second edition of this book.




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Toby Johnson's titles are available in other ebook formats from Smashwords.



A Most Remarkable Synchronicity


This article/reminiscence follows up Toby Johnson's account of a sort of mystical experience he had in the summer of 1968 at the Servite Priory in Riverside, CA. Here's a link to that page, titled: Intimations

In January of 1970, I left the Servites in Riverside. The previous summer I’d worked as a "Chaplain-intern" in a C.P.E. (Clinical Pastoral Education) program in the admissions ward of Metropolitan State Hospital in Norwalk, CA, the mental hospital for southern L.A. County. That summer, sometime in June or July1969, I had my dramatic experience of "coming out."  Tho' my experience had nothing to do with the events at Stonewall in New York City, and I knew nothing about "gay liberation," I came out at roughly the same moment as all of America was learning what "gay" was.

I got into a verbal fight with another seminarian in the CPE program, while we were driving home from the hospital after work in the admissions unit. There were three of us in the program: Allan Pinka, Bruce K., and myself. We were assigned to the Admissions Unit; each morning we'd sit in on intake interviews with new patients who'd come to the hospital voluntarily or, more often, been brought in by the police for being "dangerous to self or others or gravely disabled." The poor patient was expected to bear his or her soul in front of table of staff that included a psychologist, a social worker or two, a psych resident, a couple of nurses, the unit secretary, and now, that summer, three college-age chaplains-in-training. Then—sometimes while the patient was still in the room— the people sitting around the table would discuss their case and determine what should be done with them. Sometimes the unit head psychiatrist treated the case as a teaching occasion and would explain psychodynamic theories or clinical observations.

That psychiatrist (named Dr. Brentano or something like that) had commented earlier that in doing diagnosis, you should expect homosexuality and paranoia to go together. That sounded right, but it also sounded so judgmental and disrepectful of feelings all three of us in the program were sharing with one another in our personal friendship outside the hospital.

As we were heading out to the parking lot, Bruce had been needling me about being paranoid and said something to me like, “you homosexuals…” I’d felt a rush of shame and fear and thought I might start to cry. But then I realized if I started crying I’d end up in the hospital as a patient; instead I should feel and release the anger—as Dr Bruni, the psychologist on the ward, recommended to all the patients in the daily group sessions. So I transformed the tears into shouts and shouted at Bruce all the way home to the Servite Priory in Anaheim where we were living. I remember declaring, just as I pulled the car into the parking space in the lot beside the Servite Residence behind Servite High School, “I am gay.” And it was a transformative moment.

I continued with the Servites, but felt a growing sense of conflict. Roy Neuner, Tom Sheerin and I were all in that Novitiate class at Riverside Priory with Eddie Penonsek as Novicemaster. I think we were fairly open about being gay. I recall that this upset one of the other novices who had a sort of breakdown and locked himself in the basement for a couple of days. I remember thinking that it was OK for me to be gay and know it and be open, but maybe it wasn’t OK that other people couldn’t handle that reality. What was I doing as a Catholic seminarian anymore? And, having read Alan Watts and discovering Buddhism, what was I doing as a Catholic anymore?

My mother had come out to visit in December. I remember telling her I was going to leave the Servites. Tom Sheerin had gone home to Chicago for the Christmas holidays. He misbehaved badly at CTU in front of the Passionists who were on a different floor from the ’Vites at CTU. Tom got drunk and got up on a table and dared the whole Passionist community to fuck him. In reality it was the drunkenness that caused the Provincial to tell him to leave, but as I heard it, Tom’s homosexuality was a problem for the Order. And mine would be too.

I followed Tom out of the Servites. He and I and a man we met through a local club for Catholic youth named Paul Edwards—who worked as a bookkeeper at Disneyland in Anaheim—shared a two bedroom apartment at the St Francis Garden Apartments on Magnolia Ave in downtown Riverside—just south of the “Parent Navel Orange” which was in a little park, surrounded by steel bars.

I got a job working for a friend of the Castle’s named Kathleen Ciardelli. Her maiden named was Theil. She was from a large family in Idaho. Her sister Cee Ann also lived in Riverside. Kathleen had a gift shop in the Brockton Arcade, a little center just off Magnolia and Central Ave, south of downtown called The Windhover House (ah, named for Gerard Manley Hopkins’ falcon). And here I was Brother Peregrine, just out of the Order and looking for where to go next.

My friend Allan Pinka, on whom I had a very powerful crush—and unrequited love—left the Servites from St. Louis at the semester break and moved to Hollywood. We’d been in that hospital chaplaincy program together that previous summer, along with Bruce. Allan had been going into L.A. and discovered gay bars. I visited him a couple of times that spring in 1970. I remember him taking me tricking to a bar called The Farm—it had straw on the floor and they played “There’s a Meeting Here Tonight” by The Limeliters, which is really a song about a Negro Baptist Revival, but was “adapted” to the gay bar to mean meeting a trick. Allan wanted me to pick somebody up. I just couldn’t bring myself to speak to anybody. I was scared—and in love with Allan. We stayed till the bar closed down—the last song was Paul McCartney singing “Long Winding Road.” Allan was living up in the Hollywood Hills, in a lower floor apartment under a house perched on the side of a mountain, held up on wooden pilings. A magnificent view of the city. I longed for Allan, and since I couldn’t have him, I longed for the life he was living. And for the courage to meet somebody for sex whom I found attractive—and for no other reason.


Back in Riverside, I was working at the Windhover House. The business next door was a frame shop that had a basement woodworking shop. There were two young men whom worked down there. One of them was, I think, named Mike. He was Italian-looking, handsome, pretty, with fair complexion and dark, curly hair that spilled over his forehead. He was tall and well-built. He came into the Windhover a couple of times and smiled warmly and was very friendly with me. But always just in passing. He drove a blue Chevy Corvette that was always parked in the back lot of the center, just outside the back windows of the Windhover House. From the cash register station, I could catch glimpses him leaving work every evening at 5:30 sharp. That’s also when we closed; most evenings one of my jobs was to assist Kathy in closing the register, adding up the credit card slips and preparing a deposit. I’d usually notice Mike getting into his Corvette as Kathy and I were closing up.

I longed for him to come in and talk to me. I tried going over to the frameshop to chat with him, but he was always in the basement, not available for contact with the public.

One afternoon, Kathy had jury duty, and she’d have to leave at noon. I would close up by myself. Since I was on my own schedule, I handled all the register closing a little early and was ready to go out the door just a few minutes before 5:30. I had a plan. I’d go out to the main street—Magnolia Avenue—and started hitchhiking. I knew Mike would see me and most likely give me a ride, since he always went that direction anyway. It was about ten blocks to the St. Francis Garden Apartments. I usually walked home, but I was hitchhiking in those days and it would be easy to set my trap for Mike, so I could talk with him. I fervently hoped he’d take me home with him. Of course, I didn’t really know if he were gay, but how could I find out without making some kind of social connection.

So I left the shop just before it was time for him to leave work. I positioned myself on the other side of Magnolia, just across from the exit to the parking lot, so he could easily swing wide and pull over as he was coming out of the lot and pick me up. I was watching as he started his car and began to come toward the exit. I put out my thumb. I think I could see that he’d noticed me.

Just then a beat up old maroon Buick that had been speeding down the inside lane of the wide four lane boulevard, suddenly put on its brakes, squealing, and pulled over across the outside lane and stopped to pick me up. As I was getting in the front seat, I noticed Mike pull onto the road ahead and drive off. My plan had been foiled.


A couple of weeks later, Kathy again had sometime to do in the afternoon and announced she was leaving early and I could close up on my own. So here was a chance to do it again.

Same scenario. But this time, I dawdled getting over to the other side of the street. I waited till I saw Mike actually in the exit. I looked at him. Put out my thumb. He looked at me. I could tell my plan was working.

Just then, a screeching of tires, the maroon Buick pulled over from the middle lane and stopped to pick me up—again.

Twice in a row. It was too meaningful to not pay attention to. What was the message? At the time, I understood this as a warning not to pursue the life of casual sex and tricking that I saw—and envied—in Allan Pinka’s life. I decided not to move to Hollywood in an effort to be like Allan. Instead, I’d move to San Francisco. I could be gay—this wasn’t an anti-sexual message. But I shouldn’t pursue that particular kind of urban gay tricking life.


It was a most remarkable experience. I understood the driver—an older man who worked in a hardware store about six blocks closer in than the Windhover—to be an “incarnation” of God the Father, giving me a pointer about the direction my life should go.

I’ve summarized the experience in my personal mythology in two deeply meaningful phrases: “The God who Thwarts Plans” and “God drives a maroon Buick.”

I’ve wondered if I was “protected” from something awful that might have happened had my heart-throb Mike picked me up. Would he have been hateful or dismissive? Or would he have been a great sexual experience of the so-called one night stand variety that would cause me to want more? Would connecting with him that day have caused me to move to L.A.? Maybe the important thing was deciding then to move to San Francisco. Maybe the important thing was deciding then that I should be looking for true love and not just casual sex. That, indeed, is what happened.

———
See Toby & Kip Got Married,
March 16, 2018, on their 34th anniversary


Harley-Knight-&-Allan-Pinka
Allan, by the way, studied at the California School of Professional Psychology, got a PhD and worked in gay mental health. He had a long time partner, Harley Knight (on the left in the photo). They lived together happily through the 70s and into the 1980s. Allan worked at the L.A. Gay Community Services Center and was beloved and well-respected. Allan has been recognized by the American Psychological Association as “instrumental in the formation of the Association of Lesbian and Gay Psychologists, which later became Division 44, the Society for the Study of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Issues.”

Harley died of AIDS in November 1986, Allan on January 4, 1989.

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Toby Johnson, PhD is author of nine books: three non-fiction books that apply the wisdom of his teacher and "wise old man," Joseph Campbell to modern-day social and religious problems, four gay genre novels that dramatize spiritual issues at the heart of gay identity, and two books on gay men's spiritualities and the mystical experience of homosexuality and editor of a collection of "myths" of gay men's consciousness. 

Johnson's book GAY SPIRITUALITY: The Role of Gay Identity in the Transformation of Human Consciousness won a Lambda Literary Award in 2000.

His  GAY PERSPECTIVE: Things Our [Homo]sexuality Tells Us about the Nature of God and the Universe was nominated for a Lammy in 2003. They remain in print.

FINDING YOUR OWN TRUE MYTH: What I Learned from Joseph Campbell: The Myth of the Great Secret III tells the story of Johnson's learning the real nature of religion and myth and discovering the spiritual qualities of gay male consciousness.

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